Don't Be That Guy

I am a frequent bus traveler and will be my entire life because I can't see well enough to drive. Because of this, I have many different interactions with all sorts of people. Today was one of those days involving negative human interaction.

I got on the bus, swiped my card and sat down. I had been sitting there for a while and was scrolling through twitter when I suddenly felt two hard smacks on my calf. Startled, I looked up to see a man in his sixties glaring down at me. I noticed that he had a cane. I have a really hard time hearing on  the bus and he had been standing in a spot where I hadn't seen him. "move, I need to sit down!" he said angrily. There was no point in arguing and he did need the seat so I got up. He spent the remainder of the ride glaring at me.

I am a person with "hidden disabilities" as I like to call them. Most people cannot tell that I am visually or hearing impaired and most of the time I like it this way. I don't have to worry about people being annoyingly nice or trying to help me in ways that are not actually helpful. Unfortunately I do have to deal with incidents like this one where people assume I am being rude when really I just didn't hear/see something. Sometimes when people perceive someone as being rude they will act rude themselves, possible as a defense mechanism. Let me tell you, catching a strong whiff of someone's annoyance isn't fun.

Back to the bus incident; I obviously had no problem with giving up my seat, my problem was with the old man's rudeness. I did not need to be smacked in the leg thank you very much (theoretically he could be charged with assault for that, just saying). He was not acting like a person anyone would want to be. He was very grumpy and needed to be reminded that the world is not out to get him. The reason I didn't give him my seat right away wasn't because I'm a rude little ____, it was because I didn't hear him.

I try not to go around thinking everyone is mean. As someone who is sometimes perceived as rude because I missed information and people can't see my vision and hearing loss, I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. I understand those moments when a bubble of rage that shouts "ME, ME, ME" climbs through your throat and up to you brain, however, do not let that bubble out. Instead stop and assume that the person who did the loathsome action is missing some information. Cut in front of you in line? Maybe they hadn't realized where the line began. Ignored you asking them where the food court is? Maybe they hadn't heard you. Asked you what the time is when the clock is in front of them? Maybe the can't see the clock. Even if it is obvious that they were being rude to you on purpose, pretend they weren't. Hell, pretend that they are visually/hearing impaired because you never know, they might be. Regardless, if you think this way, you will probably feel less annoyed at the little stupidities surrounding you. It will probably make you feel a whole lot better about yourself and others.